desire based goal setting method

The Desire Map – Danielle LaPorte

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You've probably heard plenty of self-help gurus talk about finding your purpose and living your best life, but have you ever considered that the key to fulfillment might be more about how you want to feel rather than what you want to achieve?

The Desire Map by Danielle LaPorte offers a fresh take on personal development by focusing on identifying and prioritizing your core desired feelings. This approach goes beyond traditional goal-setting and success metrics, placing greater emphasis on authenticity, emotional well-being, and living a life aligned with your true self.

If you've ever felt like something was missing in your quest for happiness and fulfillment, The Desire Map might just offer the missing piece of the puzzle.

Key Takeaways

  • Clarifying core desires and aligning actions with intentions is essential for living a fulfilling life.
  • Uncovering and incorporating desired feelings into daily life can guide decision-making and bring clarity and purpose.
  • Redefining success and goal-setting based on core desired feelings leads to meaningful and satisfying outcomes.
  • Emphasizing authenticity and emotional well-being through self-awareness, vulnerability, self-compassion, and healthy boundaries is crucial for a fulfilling life.

Understanding the Desire Map Approach

To understand the Desire Map approach, focus on clarifying your core desires and aligning your actions with those intentions. This begins with exploring emotions and setting intentions that resonate with your true self. The Desire Map encourages you to delve deep into your feelings and emotions, understanding what truly brings you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of purpose.

By acknowledging and embracing your emotions, you can gain clarity on what you genuinely desire in life. This process of self-exploration allows you to set intentions that are rooted in authenticity and genuine passion.

When you set intentions based on your core desires, you're more likely to take aligned actions. The Desire Map approach emphasizes the importance of aligning your daily actions with your true intentions, creating a life that feels fulfilling and meaningful.

Uncovering Core Desired Feelings

Uncovering your core desired feelings starts with introspection and a willingness to explore your emotional landscape. It's about delving into the depths of your being and identifying the emotions that truly resonate with you.

Exploring emotions means being open to all possibilities and allowing yourself to experience a wide range of feelings. It's not just about the surface-level happiness or contentment, but also about acknowledging the more complex and nuanced emotions that shape your inner world.

Setting intentions is key to uncovering your core desired feelings. Once you've identified the emotions that are most important to you, it's about actively incorporating them into your life. This means making conscious choices that align with these feelings and being intentional about the experiences you seek out.

Using Your Desired Feelings as a Compass

Using your desired feelings as a compass empowers you to navigate life with clarity and purpose, guiding your decisions towards alignment with your authentic emotional core. When you prioritize your core desired feelings, you gain a deeper understanding of your purpose and what truly matters to you. By focusing on cultivating joy and other desired emotions, you create a roadmap for living a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Discovering purpose becomes more attainable when you use your desired feelings as a guiding force. Instead of being driven solely by external expectations or societal pressures, you're able to make choices that resonate with your innermost desires. This shift in perspective allows you to pursue goals and experiences that bring you closer to a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

Cultivating joy, along with other desired feelings, becomes a daily practice that influences your decisions and actions. You become more intentional about seeking out experiences and relationships that align with your core desired feelings, leading to a life that's more in tune with your authentic self.

Redefining Success and Goal-Setting

Redefining success and goal-setting involves aligning your aspirations with your core desired feelings, fostering a more authentic and fulfilling path forward. It's about embracing a holistic approach that integrates emotional intelligence into your goal-setting process. By understanding how you want to feel in every aspect of your life, you can set goals that are truly meaningful and satisfying. Here's a 3×4 table providing a simplified guide to help you redefine success and set goals aligned with your core desired feelings:

Aspect of Life Core Desired Feeling Example Goal
Career Empowered To lead a project that positively impacts my team
Relationships Connected To have meaningful conversations with loved ones
Health Vibrant To commit to a consistent exercise routine
Personal Growth Inspired To learn a new skill or hobby

This approach encourages you to focus on what truly matters to you, leading to a more fulfilling and purposeful life. By incorporating emotional intelligence and a holistic perspective, you can redefine success and set goals that resonate with your core desired feelings.

Emphasizing Authenticity and Emotional Well-being

To truly prioritize authenticity and emotional well-being, it's crucial to cultivate self-awareness and embrace vulnerability in your journey towards personal fulfillment. Here's how you can emphasize authenticity and emotional well-being:

  1. Self-Discovery: Take the time to explore your values, passions, and beliefs. Understanding who you're at your core is essential for living authentically and nurturing emotional well-being.
  2. Embracing Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be open and authentic in your interactions with others. Embracing vulnerability can lead to deeper connections and a greater sense of emotional fulfillment.
  3. Practicing Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Self-compassion is a crucial component of emotional well-being and personal growth.
  4. Setting Boundaries: Establishing healthy boundaries is essential for honoring your authenticity and maintaining emotional well-being. Learning to say no when necessary and prioritizing your needs is empowering and vital for your overall well-being.

Living a Purposeful and Meaningful Life

You're ready to explore the key to living with intention and fulfillment.

Finding your 'why' and aligning your actions with your values can be transformative in creating a purposeful and meaningful life.

Let's delve into how these steps can help you live authentically and in alignment with your true desires.

Finding Your Why

Understanding your why is essential for living a purposeful and meaningful life. When you discover your purpose and find motivation, you gain a deeper understanding of what drives you.

Here's how to find your why:

  1. Reflect on your values and beliefs: Take time to explore what truly matters to you and what you stand for.
  2. Identify your passions and strengths: Recognize what you love doing and what you excel at, as these can provide valuable clues to your why.
  3. Consider the impact you want to make: Think about the kind of difference you want to create in the world and for others.
  4. Connect with your innermost desires: Tune into your heart's truest longings and aspirations, which can reveal your ultimate why.

Aligning Actions With Values

Living a purposeful and meaningful life involves aligning your actions with your values, which are rooted in your why and drive your sense of fulfillment and contribution to the world.

To achieve this, you need to engage in values-based decision making, where your choices are aligned with what truly matters to you. This involves deep self-awareness and emotional alignment, understanding what drives you and what brings you joy.

It's about personal growth, continually evolving and aligning your actions with your core values. By making choices that are in line with your values, you create a life that's meaningful and fulfilling.

This alignment allows you to live authentically, making a positive impact on both yourself and the world around you.


Congratulations on completing the desire map! Now that you've uncovered your core desired feelings, use them as your North Star to guide your decisions and actions.

Let go of the traditional idea of success and set goals that truly align with your authentic self. Remember, it's all about living a life of purpose and meaning, not just checking off tasks on a to-do list.

Keep shining and staying true to yourself!


  • eSoft Skills Team

    The eSoft Editorial Team, a blend of experienced professionals, leaders, and academics, specializes in soft skills, leadership, management, and personal and professional development. Committed to delivering thoroughly researched, high-quality, and reliable content, they abide by strict editorial guidelines ensuring accuracy and currency. Each article crafted is not merely informative but serves as a catalyst for growth, empowering individuals and organizations. As enablers, their trusted insights shape the leaders and organizations of tomorrow.

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