When your Authority & Confidence Fluctuate throughout the Work Day
One of the most common complaints that I hear from employees is that their authority fluctuates throughout the day. At one moment, they know exactly what to do and have all the power to follow through on it. Then at another moment, they are filled with self-doubt and worry about whether or not they are doing the right thing.
I remember this well because it used to be my reality as well. But then I started taking responsibility for it. Instead of expecting others around me to constantly reaffirm my worthiness, I began asking myself empowering questions that re-ignited my sense of empowerment just in time for whatever inevitable curveballs were thrown my way throughout the course of each day.
I now recognize that there are two types of authority. The first is your official title, job function, and duties that others expect you to perform on a daily basis. The second is the natural authority that comes from within when you are clear about who you are, what your true potential is, and how valuable your contribution truly is to the world around you.
What Goes Up Must Come Down
When I was younger, there were times when my self-confidence dipped so low that I had no idea why people even bothered to hire me in the first place. One day I would come into work feeling like a million bucks only to have things quickly fall apart once someone gave me some constructive feedback or maybe asked me to do something out of my comfort zone. As soon as I felt even the slightest bit insecure, my authority would disappear.
As you can imagine, this made it almost impossible for me to succeed in any kind of professional environment. If people did not recognize the real me right away then what was the point of doing any work at all? Without that initial boost of self-assurance it seemed like nothing I did could ever amount to anything worthwhile.
Fortunately, I have since learned how to recognize when my confidence wanes so that I can quickly take charge of my thoughts and emotions once again. When your authority is threatened in some way (for instance whenever someone questions whether or not you are competent or worthy enough) there are several important steps you should take to reestablish yourself with a little bit of swagger.
Remind Yourself What Your Job is Supposed to be
In these kinds of moments, it can help to remind yourself why you are even there in the first place. I would recommend writing down a few sentences about how much your position means to you and others around you. In my case, I wrote something like this: “I am so grateful to have the opportunity every day to really make an impact on people’s lives. They may not always know it or say so, but deep down they need someone like me who understands them completely and is willing to take action on their behalf.” Writing things like this doesn’t just give you more confidence; it also makes that initial boost of self-assurance last much longer because you are constantly reminding yourself of why you matter and what it is that give your life more meaning.
Remind Yourself Who You Are as a Person
When your authority is threatened, there’s nothing wrong with asking the person causing those ripples of insecurity to explain themselves. If they can’t, then I would recommend writing down who you think you are as a person without any kind of outside influence or feedback from others telling you otherwise. Think about what really makes up the essence of who you are as a human being and list as many things as possible; even ones that may not seem important at first glance like: “I am strong”, “I am creative”, “I am intuitive”, etc. This will help you realize that no one can take away your intrinsic value unless you allow them to do so by giving up on the things that make you who you are.
Don’t Let Others Empower You or Discourage You
One of the biggest hurdles in maintaining your authority is dealing with all the well-meaning people around you who simply want to encourage or empower you because they love and care about you. The problem with this is that when your confidence is at an all-time low, encouraging words from others can often have a negative impact on how empowered or worthy of respect you feel internally. I call this “co-dependent empowerment” because it’s not really coming from within yourself which makes it easy for others to take it away at any moment.
For example, if the people around you want to empower you by saying something like “we all make mistakes” or “it’s not that big of a deal”, this can often leave you feeling even more unworthy than before because now they are validating what someone else said about you instead of standing up for your value as an individual. These kinds of statements also give others permission to question your authority because now everyone thinks it’s ok for them to treat you however they want regardless of how much time and effort you’ve put into bettering yourself. If this has ever happened to you then I recommend finding friends who always remind you just how valuable your input is regardless of what other people might think about what you have to say.
Validate Yourself Just Like Others Would Do For You
If someone is causing you to doubt yourself, this is often a sign that they are lacking the proper validation in their life or are just generally threatened by your ability to be more powerful than them. As a result, they will do everything in their power to bring you down so that they can feel better about themselves. The challenge here is that it’s extremely easy for us to want to prove them right because not doing so makes us feel even more insecure about our own abilities and sense of self-worth. But when we fall into this trap, we end up sabotaging ourselves in some way without even knowing it simply because we don’t know how to properly validate ourselves.
The reason why validation is so important in the first place is because it’s basically what makes us feel safe and secure with who we are as people which allows us to maintain our authority no matter what other people might be doing around us. If you’re not sure about how much your opinion or ideas are worth, try writing down all of your talents, abilities and positive character traits including possible areas where they could use some improvement. No matter how big or small you believe these things may be, there will always be someone out there who admires them just as much as you do for yourself even if they don’t express that same level of admiration verbally through words. That’s why I recommend reading this list every morning, especially when you’re feeling your lowest, to remind yourself how valuable your existence really is to the world.
Accept Responsibility & Learn From Mistakes Instead of Blaming
One of the biggest problems that happen when people lose their sense of authority in life is that they start blaming others for all their problems without even realizing it. For example, someone might say “I don’t know why I’m having such bad luck lately; maybe it’s because I always seem to attract the wrong kind of people” or “I keep messing up every time I try something new” or “why can’t I ever find anyone who will support me?” The problem with this type of thinking is that it doesn’t encourage us to take responsibility for our own problems and actually learn from them so we don’t keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again. If you truly want to be in control of your life, simply take responsibility for it even if you don’t know where to start or what to do next.
One thing I often recommend doing whenever you’re experiencing a problem in your life is writing down all of the possible causes including both internal and external factors that could have contributed to its creation. As soon as you’ve finished that step, start looking for patterns within these causes until you can figure out which one(s) may be more responsible than others overall. From there, come up with actionable steps (1-3) related to each cause and put them into practice immediately. As you continue trying out these actionable steps, keep track of which ones do and don’t work so that you can eventually identify what does and doesn’t cause this particular problem in the future.
Refuse to Quit No Matter What Others Might Tell You To Do
While it’s perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed or even a bit challenged every now and then while learning how to lead a better life, your biggest challenge will always come from other people who want to convince you that your efforts are worthless simply because they end up feeling insecure about themselves whenever you choose self-empowerment over their approval. Because of this, there comes a point when we need to cut off ties with toxic people who don’t encourage us in the slightest simply because they don’t understand the true value of perseverance. In other words, sometimes we have to refuse to give up on ourselves even when everyone around us is saying that it’s the only option left for us.
How do you know if someone is toxic? Easy – just look out for people who express any of these thoughts: “You’ll never succeed”, “Why bother trying?”, “This will never work”, or anything along those lines. If you share a friendship with one of these types of individuals, then chances are your entire friendship revolves around their pessimism which translates into thoughts and emotions about yourself that can actually harm your self-esteem over time. That means that unless you want to cause permanent damage to your own happiness and mental wellness, you’ll want to cut ties with this person as soon as possible and spend more time (if necessary) finding friends and support who will encourage your growth.
Do Everything In Your Power To Actively Improve Yourself Each Day
We’re all changing in some way or another each day as we gain new experiences/knowledge and discard the old ones that no longer serve us. The problem is that some people actually move backwards instead of forward because they fail to realize how important it is to make positive changes on a daily basis for themselves instead of settling for what’s easy now even if those choices end up costing them in one way or another later on. However, there comes a point when we have to decide whether or not we’re going to do our best to improve ourselves in a given day or no, because any kind of stagnation only allows us to lose steam and get into the habit of acting like spectators instead of active participants in our own lives.
It’s one thing to set out with the goal of improving yourself over the course of months and years, but it’s another thing entirely when you aim for instant improvement (e.g. “I’m going to get my life together” by making changes every day until this becomes your new norm). This is due to the fact that if we don’t set incremental goals for ourselves each and every day (that also take our energy levels and other commitments into account) then we’ll never learn how much we’re really capable of overcoming when we set our minds to it. In other words, this strategy will not only work wonders in terms of your self-esteem and happiness levels in the short-term, but you’ll also end up learning a lot about yourself that will help you take charge of your life in the long-term which is what all lasting change works towards.
Turn Your “Want To” Into A Decision And Commit To It Right Now
As human beings who primarily live inside their own heads, sometimes we fall into the trap of convincing ourselves that even when we know what needs to be done for us to lead better lives, we often choose not to do these things because deep down we actually prefer the comfort zone we’ve created for ourselves. That’s why instead of making this same mistake, it helps to actually do something that will force us out of our comfort zone simply because then we’ll realize that the only thing stopping us from reaching our goals is ourselves…and our own fear of change.
For example, just think about how much harder your life would be if you gave up on everything you enjoyed doing each day simply because they challenged you or made you feel insecure at first. Imagine what would happen if you spent your entire existence inside your head even though there was so much more worth enjoying outside your mind? The truth is that unless you take action and force yourself to turn your big “want to” into a tangible decision right now , then chances are that you’ll never take any steps beyond staying where you are today. It’s the same with everything else in your life…
The next time you’re faced with a decision, ask yourself what’s most important to you and then go ahead and make it happen if the answer is something along the lines of happiness, success or change = true progress. Chances are that once you finally commit to this path for yourself, the notion of taking action right now will actually be easier than all those times before when fear was holding you back from becoming who you really wanted to be.
Stop Being Your Own Worst Enemy
Chances are that while we were growing up we learned some bad habits and attitudes about life from our parents that have since become ingrained in our personalities. Unfortunately, this often means that when we go to adopt our own sense of identity or engage with society on our own terms, we find ourselves facing an uphill battle because something inside us is constantly holding us back from becoming the kind of person who can make real changes no matter how many times people around us (or even textbooks) tell us otherwise .
If you don’t allow yourself to get rid of these bad habits and therefore set new boundaries for yourself that help you look at yourself in the mirror without feeling any shame then chances are that nothing will change even if you feel like it should…and do whatever it takes to ensure this doesn’t happen again. An easy way to do this is by trying your best to replace your negative behaviours with something more productive…and effective.
For example, if you’re constantly dwelling on the past and blaming it for all your problems right now, then find ways to occupy yourself with something else so that you can get back to what needs to be done instead of holding yourself back because your mind refuses to cooperate. If you’re always rushing ahead before thinking about other people’s feelings or what they need from you in order to feel fulfilled then slow down and learn how to give others this opportunity by listening .
Believe That You Deserve To Live The Life You’ve Always Dreamed Of Living
As human beings we’re usually programmed within an inch of our lives (especially while growing up) to constantly put ourselves down in order to convince the people around us that we don’t actually deserve good things no matter how much they might like us. Unfortunately, this means that even when life finally does deal us a hand where we can go out and pursue our biggest passions, something inside us prevents us from taking the necessary risks because deep down we fear failure too much .
However, if you want to reach your true potential then chances are that at some point in your life you’re going to have to adopt an attitude of self kindness instead of self doubt if you don’t want anything holding you back anymore. The next time you’re feeling insecure about something, ask yourself why these thoughts are suddenly popping into your head and always be honest with yourself about your biggest fears = your inner demons.
The next time you’re about to go after something great, remind yourself why it’s so important and make sure that you believe in this message right down to the very fiber of your being . Anyone who has ever achieved greatness knows that the only way they got there was by linking their own sense of identity to a dream or goal beyond themselves…and going out to achieve it no matter what the odds were against them.
Stop Waiting For Others To Change So That You Don’t Have To Deal With Their Negativity In Your Life
As human beings we all have friends or family members who constantly put us down or make us feel bad about ourselves because they simply don’t understand how to accept others for who they are. If you’re tired of putting up with the way these people make you feel, then perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that at some point in your life you have to stop waiting for them to change so that you don’t have to put yourself through this stress anymore.
No one ever said that having friends or family was easy because despite what many of us believe, often times the people closest to us are the ones most likely to hurt our feelings without even understanding why . It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you try and build with these people…eventually every single one will end up disappointing you because no matter how hard certain people try to fit into your life when their own is falling apart, they’ll never be able to truly appreciate the one that you’re trying to build with them.
The next time you start spending time with someone who is only going to end up hurting you in some way, remind yourself why this is so and how it’s going to make your life a lot better if you just accept it for what it is = a distraction from what needs to be done . If they really care about you, then they’d understand where your coming from…but people who refuse to my words or advice often need a self imposed reality check of the kind that doesn’t require any help from anyone else.
Accept That You Can Only Control So Much In Life Before It All Begins To Feel Like A Waste Of Time
As human beings we’re not perfect and the sooner we let go of trying to control everything around us, the sooner we can start gaining back some of this inner peace that we’ve all been searching for. By constantly trying to control every situation and putting so much pressure on ourselves, we often forget how much stress our bodies are under and as a result don’t give ourselves nearly enough time to unwind before life starts throwing more problems at us than ever.
One of the reasons why people get into the kind of trouble they do is because they spend so much time trying to control events in their lives that it eventually becomes too overwhelming to deal with = burn out . But when you consider how many other factors there are in life outside your control, sometimes it’s a good idea to back off and take some time for yourself instead of only trying to change things that you can’t.
Wouldn’t life be perfect if you didn’t have to waste all that energy worrying about what other people thought of you? Wouldn’t life be perfect if you could just stop having these petty arguments with people who simply refuse to see your point of view no matter how much they claim to love or care about you? Wouldn’t life be perfect if there wasn’t so much pressure on the kind of success we hope for in our lives because we weren’t afraid to fail in the first place?
Stop Waiting For Your Prince Or Princess Charming To Rescue You In The Way That You’ve Always Hoped They Would
In a lot of ways, many people get caught up in this illusion about what being rescued from their current struggles might do for them , but don’t stop to think about how they have no real idea who they’ll become if someone actually did…or didn’t …save them from themselves . Some people want a knight in shining armor or a prince charming to sweep them off their feet because it’s this kind of escapism that makes them feel excited about life and gives their existence a fairytale like quality.
However, the more we try and hold on to childish fantasies like this, the less likely it is that we’ll ever find true love because we become so fixated on impressing people *who aren’t even interested in us* instead of building genuine relationships with those who know what they’re talking ‘about’. Falling for someone who doesn’t respect you or call you back can be such a devastating realization that there’s no real way of coming back from it other than learning from your mistakes and finding someone else …but nothing good will come out of waiting around for something so uncertain to save you.
I’m sure at least some of these bits of advice are things you’ve heard before but never really listened to, but it’s within the power of each and every one of us to take control over our lives by taking more time out for ourselves . It doesn’t just have to be something that you only do on “special occasions” either.
The next time your life starts feeling too far out of your control , just remember this article and re-read each piece advice slowly, knowing that it can help point you back in the right direction so long as you start applying it straight away.